Saturday, May 21, 2011

On Second Thought

Emily’s father would have been 62 today.  He would have relished planning his daughter’s wedding.

Larry liked details. He was very involved in the nitty-gritty of our wedding in 1980. Not that our wedding was much of a production, as compared to new millennium weddings that require two years in advance  bookings, save-the-date announcements, multi-gift-registries,and the support of websites like
Even so, Larry added his share of touches to our day. 
The RX-7 touch in 1980
  •  His idea: no limo. My dad drove me to the church which, after the "I do-s,"  freed up the bride and groom to drive off in our snazzy ‘78 Mazda RX-7.
  • His idea: a venue where we’d  see golfers through the club's reception hall windows, as they putted out on the 18th green. 
  • His idea: a post-party photo at that 18th hole – me holding the flagged pin as he tapped out!  
Larry wasn’t a “you decide honey, it’s your big day” kind of guy.  Dotting the “i” in wedding -- a wedding that fit us perfectly – was a mutual task.

Interestingly, my daughter's fiancé  Ryan has very much involved himself in the details of his and Em’s big day too.  He cares that the color scheme (including his tux) will blend with the season, that the size, shape, and arrangement of the tables will encourage convivial visiting and lots of dancing, that the buffet will sate the most hearty and most health-conscious  diners. I think his physician’s assistant training now, along with his earlier EMT and firefighting training, contributes to him being so detail oriented. A PA must diagnose symptom by symptom; a firefighter must analyze the nature of the blaze.
The mention of firefighters reminds me of a story that begs repeating - especially today. Three years ago, when Em was caught between a rock and a hard place over a number of decisions about her future – one question overshadowed the rest:  Is Ry the one?  Through December of that year she attempted to weigh emotions that were difficult to apply an "err-tight" rationale to. 

Ry the fire-guy
 On one particular afternoon drive, alone in her car in the throes of thought, she felt the need to pull over to the side of the road. Still, behind the steering wheel, she wished she could be sure about what to do. And she wished her father was alive to help her. Before a third wish could pop into her head she was interrupted by the sound of a siren followed by a honk. The long, loud honk blared again as a red fire truck came into view, its crew on its way to a conflagration.

When Em could think straight again – for who can  keep a  train of thought when a fire engine rushes by – the question she had been pondering was followed by an answer:  Ry – the fire guy – is certainly the one. By the time New Year's Eve turned to New Year's Day, a few weeks later, Em and Ry were a couple.

Did I say that Larry wasn’t around to plan Em’s wedding?
 I stand corrected.


  1. Good goosebumps, I hope. Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy. I enjoy keeping up with your pictures.