from http://ourmarriage.com/html/mother_of_the_bride.html (with commentary)
RESPONSIBILITIES OF MOTHER OF THE BRIDE
The Primary responsibility of the Mother of the Bride is to see that the bride's wishes are carried out the bride's way.Emily will like that! It will be your responsibility to help the bride plan her wedding with her tastes in mind…not your's, unless, it is the true desire of the bride to "let mom run things." Hmmmm. Probably not.
Here are your primary responsibilities:
- Help the bride select her wedding attire.Done and doing - even undergarments!. Remember, this is not your wedding.Never thought it was. If you find yourself talking the bride out of a gown she loves, you may be overreaching or auditioning for an episode of "Say Yes to the Dress."
- Help the bride and groom decide on a wedding budget .Done. Settling money issues upfront is always best. A good clear budget will help everyone with their expectations We set up a Wedding Checking Account. Em has one debit card. Mom has the other.That way - all purchases are documented in bank online records. The bank rep thought whoever thought of the idea was brilliant. I'm still bowing!
- In the event that the Mother of the Groom does not contact you, you will make the first contact. We Facebook each other :) See each other regularly.
- See that the guest lists are put together. We've decided to draw the line at first cousins. Invited friends of parents must know bride and groom. (Got that one from Hillary. That's why her boss -- Obama -- wasn't invited to Chelsea's wedding ! We're hoping to keep the # at 150) The invitations must be ordered as soon as possible, and the guest list will be critical in making your invitation order.
- Reservations for out-of-town guests, invited by the bride's family, are the responsibility of the mother of the bride. It will be much more convenient if a block of rooms are reserved at a nearby hotel, which is near her home. Two blocks have been reserved - one in Middletown, the other in Cromwell.
- Choose your gown for the wedding day. Hold on, that's at least one diet away! Immediately tell the Mother of the Groom the colors and style so that she may begin looking for a complimentary gown. Thinkin' something in sage, oatmeal, apple crisp. Seems I'm always drawn to colors you can eat - butterscotch, chocolate, fudge! Send a swatch of material to the Mother of Groom if possible.
- See that instructions for the actual ceremony are given. This includes the seating schedule and the receiving line at reception, as well as any special touches the bride may choose to have at her wedding. One bride and groom request: no reception line. I think # 1 (this is not my wedding) overrulles #7 (schedule reception line) here.
- The role as mother of the bride, in the ceremony, may include lighting the family candle on the altar, along with the mother of the groom. Family candles are lit after the candle lighters have left the altar area, and prior to the entrance of the wedding party. Thinkin' ahead, I'm pretty sure I'll be too nervous to play with matches.
- Find a trusted friend or family member who is not in the wedding party to assist you throughout the wedding. Oh Donna. Can you hear me? You are the hostess for the entire event! Find someone who will help you with some of the details…sometimes a professional is best.
- Be familiar with the responsibilities of the Maid of Honor. You may want to have a conversation with the Maid of Honor to coordinate and avoid stepping on each other's toes. Really?
- I get it. The Mommy of the Bride traditionally LOVES, ENCOURAGES, AND SETS REASONABLE LIMITS for her baby. Sounds like what she has been doing for decades.