Was I Under AdSense Arrest?

I went to post the eBay? No Way blog a couple of days ago and ran into a problem. With text completed in compose mode, ready to publish, I clicked preview.  The window popped up, but just white space filled the preview box. No print, no picture, no URL links – all of which I’d spent the early morning formatting on the compose screen. I tried preview again and again. After the third try I was certain I knew why the blog wasn’t appearing.

The AdSense police had  Mommy of the Bride under surveillance.

Which could  lead to Internet incarceration -  solitary confinement of mommyofthebride.blogspot.com to the place where all bad bad bloggers go – the no publishing zone.

I immediately began a defense in my head.

“I swear I didn’t click one ad. Honest Officer AdSense.

“Save your excuses for Judge Google,”  he’d reply. But that alone would not spare him my plea.

 “Sure I thought about it, But the nuns always said the thought wasn’t a sin. Just doing it was.”

“Doing what?” he’d ask. I’d caught his attention.

“Clicking.” Not the answer he’d hoped for.

“Tell it to the Judge.”

I pictured the judge would look like Columbo, in a crumpled gown.

So I’d go on to tell the judge how I only speculated about clicking my own blog ads. I’d own up to a sudden jump in ad activity after the AdSense Nonsense blog. A show of family support I suspect. And yes, I’d apologize, if he thought the title of my post – a bit rude. I meant no disrespect. The Nonsense could just as well refer to my rambling – as to Adsense absurdities.

 If Judge Google bought that, I’d go on to mention how any sweet and understanding top-of-the-heap Google law enforcer like himself (who I pictured dressed Columbo – like in a crumpled black  robe, squinting his eyes as I spoke),  how that wise-as-Solomon kind of  judge could certainly understand why I had used the official Google AdSense logo as the banner for that entry. It looked so pretty and went along with the blogspot  suggestion to  add an eye-catching visual to every entry . Then, in one long breath I’d begin to say , “What’s  a blogging MOTB to do? Especially one who’s  trying to break the mold of  MOTB  blogs that just copy and paste stuff out of theknot.com, or ehow.com.?”  I’d get a quick sniffle in before I’d continue, through the same breath, to explain, “I'm only trying to tell the story of my only daughter’s wedding." Or maybe  my daughter’s only wedding would sound more convincing. Or only daughter’s only wedding.

And then, after patiently listeningl to whatever I had decided to say,  Judge Google would rub his forehead in true Columbo fashion – and say. . . 

What would he say?  I continued to wonder as I scanned my Google Account details for some sort of warrant of Internet Arrest until I finally found an alert from Blogger headquarters. Something that would probably kick me off the Internet for life.

I half-closed my eyes, clicked the alert, and forced myself to read:

English to Hindi transliteration is not working since 07-July-2011. The font symbol "अ " which earlier used to appear is missing now. It’s a global  problem ALL users are facing same. We are working on solving the problem. Thank you for your patience.

Until the Hindi symbol  अ  could appear again, I would not be able to post a new entry.

The Hindi font symbol soon became visible , along with those  that allow me to write:

वर-वधू के माँ के एकांत में नही  

In other words, the Mommy of the Bride is not in solitary confinement.


 .

Classy Role Models



Donna



Hillary



Three of my favorite MOTBs pulled off three remarkable weddings this summer.   Each faced a formidable challenge: the paparazzi, long-distance, and the elements.
                                                                          
 It took nothing less than the prowess of the Secretary of These United States to keep her daughter Chelsea's nuptuals  hidden from imposing cameras. Hillary managed to keep the wedding location as clandestine as a State Secret. The New York Times reported that even  guests did not know exactly where the wedding was going to take place.  The invitation read more like treasure hunt instructions than a formal  announcement of the particulars. It designated not a venue, but a vicinity - within driving distance of Manhattan. The precise location was sent to guests  a week before the  event.

Mary Jo

While Hillary planned Chelsea's wedding far from D.C, Donna, a Northeasterner, orchestrated her daughter (Em's BFF) Meghan's wedding in the buckle of the Beltway.  Though the bride and the groom grew up in New England, both had settled in the nation's capital after college graduation. Two years later they set their hearts on a red, white, and blue wedding at the National Cathedral. Mom had to pull together a destination wedding.  Securing church, reception hall, menus, hotel blocks etc. called for frequent jaunts 350 miles south, oftentimes by car - a car that carted close to 100 hotel welcome bags, a wardrobe of bridal wear, and cases of refreshment along with the ParentsOTB the week before the big day.

  Mary Jo put her faith in Mother Nature when she planned an outdoor reception for her daughter Ariele's nuptuals. How inclement  could a Labor Day weekend be?  As if to test her trust, the Outdoor Mom of All Seasons ushered in the approach of this New Jersey affair with a week of thick, difficult-to-breath-in humidity and  then a hurricane warning, the rainy effects of which squeaked by the day before the ceremony. Though I get the feeling this celebration would have been sunny, even in a downpour, the power of positive thinking was put into play. Mary Jo initiated Facebook posts from Jersey shore to Boston shore, directing Hurricane Eric out to sea. Oh the power of the social network! Nary a drop rained on the wedding party parade. The celebration went without a hitch (except for the hitching of the bride and groom)  in an outdoor tent aglow with white lights and lanterns. The night air was as clear as the chime of a wedding bell.

  I get the feeling the Mother who has run a wedding could run a country. She has to direct the  show - on a tight schedule, stick to the budget, feed the masses, keep the peace - and her cool. If Hillary ever does consider running for a higher office, I can suggest two cabinet members.